Believe In The Moment

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.
By Nita Lapinski

The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book "The Bridge to Intuition"

One of the most important lessons I have learned is that every relationship is in some way a reflection of ourselves and the behaviors we cannot see.  Mirrors give us the unique opportunity to see in others those things we wish to address about ourselves that have been hidden to us though the discovery is not always easy.  Even seemingly benign events may hold valuable mirrors if only we are willing to look.   This practice can be challenging; it makes believing the "lie closest to the truth" very appealing.  What is the lie closest to the truth?  It's the answer that can look like the truth, that's close to the truth but is not quite right. Yet this answer is frequently chosen because it points to everything outside of us as the culprit in any given situation, which leaves our tender egos intact.

How many times have you heard someone say "You are so _______, it drives me crazy"!  Chances are they too are so _________ or someone close to them exhibits the same traits but they are unwilling to acknowledge it and you are mirroring a behavior in an effort for you both to learn and grow.  Sometimes we are rigid and intolerant to others' actions because our egos are doing  their job by making us feel superior and separate as we judge outside behavior seeing no link to our own.  Take for instance the simple act of driving to or from our destinations.  Inevitably someone cuts us off or behaves in a narcissistic way oblivious to those around them.   Do we exclaim "what a so and so!" Our egos rise up telling us we are superior drivers, we would never act in such a way and we feel secure in the idea that we are completely separate from that person.  Are we?  Have we never made a road blunder?  Is there some message for us?           Mirrors can be tricky because the behavior you have judgment about may be slightly different from your own or what you see may be an exaggerated version of an issue at hand.  Sometimes the lesson has to do with forgiveness, being critical or acceptance.  Only we have the power to find the gift. The telling piece is the fact you have judgment and struggle with the person or situation, you can guess there is something there for you to learn.  Generally when we are faced with a mirror we first point to outside influences as the offender.  As an example, suppose you attended a party and there was a person there who was silly, giggling, naïve and chatty in the extreme.  Say this behavior was annoying and grating on social nerves.  Maybe we are not any of those things and that is precisely why we turn away.  Often our first response is to point the finger at the censurable party offering up the behavior to others as an obvious flaw.  We undoubtedly would be supported in our judgment as we may share the thought with like minded friends.  Perhaps, we are more controlled and less chatty but still friendly.  Is it possible that on some level we could use some childlike abandonment in our life?  Is it possible that the mirror we are seeing is just an exaggerated version of what might be missing?  Maybe its a reminder not to be so quick to devalue what may be a shiny light if we let it in.  In this way, our intuition is at work whispering the need to look deeper.
We often run up against the most difficult mirrors in our immediate family, although reflections are truly everywhere.  Don't be fooled by assuming the objectionable behavior is exactly our own.  But somewhere in the situation our truth is waiting to be discovered.
Can we find a mirror today and its simple gift?  Do we dare to see our reflection and embrace it? Mirror,mirror on the wall.........