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by Barbara Joye
Written July 28,2010
With the return of the Dance of Relationship, as discussed in the book The Light Won, it is time to re-insert relationship back into your every relationship. While the Game of Duality was most prevalent, human interactions, your most basic human relationships, were being lived through the eyes or processes of duality.
Returning to The Dance of Relationship, as recommended by the Angelic Realm, is an obvious time to re-insert relationship back into Relationships. For support in returning to a relationship model, seven steps are recommended.
- Identify a relationship which is important; a relationship which has value and substance; a relationship you would like to enhance. By your selection, you are making a statement that you are able to identify values, benefits and positive attributes within the relationship.
- Make a list of your ‘irritations’ with the relationship. Identify your position on each of these ‘irritations’. Eliminate any ‘Shoulds’ positions for a ‘should’ is your attempt to control another’s actions or responses. ‘Shoulds’ are not a part of the Dance of Relationship.
- Determine which you are willing to consider reconsidering; what you are willing to consider looking at differently. Remember, the Dance of Relationship is about position and possibilities. Now, create two lists of the larger list – one that you are willing to consider reconsidering; the other that you are not willing to consider a change of your position.
- From the list you are willing to consider reconsidering, determine which ‘irritations’ you are really willing to adjust – what beliefs or positions you are willing to shift. Typically, you will ascertain two lists again – those you are willing to shift and those you are willing to consider shifting. At this point, you have three lists: a list of the ‘irritations’ you are willing to shift your position or perspective; a list of the ‘irritations’ you are willing to consider shifting your position or perspective; and a list of the ‘irritations’ which you are not willing to shift your position or perspective.
- With great care and consideration, connect with the other individual or individuals in the relationship you are assessing. Share the process you have utilized and the awareness you have achieved. As you discuss the process and have acknowledged the value of the relationship to you, share your two or three the lists.
- As this process is intended to return relationship to your relationship, you now have the opportunity to ask the individual or group of individuals to follow the same process, potentially even using your list. In this asking, you will most likely feel vulnerable and undefended. After all, you have provided ‘them’ with all of your information. Consider shifting your perspective (as vulnerable is a residual perspective from the Game of Duality) to one of feeling empowered and empowering. In fact, acknowledge that the other individual(s) might add more items of their own. And ask that they respect your feelings and not change any of yours – no matter how they feel!
- Compare the resulting lists – all three of the lists – to determine where each of you stand in relation to the relationship. Begin to shift those you have each indicated you are willing to shift and to determine at what level the items you are not willing to shift impact the relationship. The middle column (the one you each were potentially willing to consider shifting) leave til later….it may be ‘shift able’ later as the relationship takes on new perspectives and possibilities.
Keep in mind, this experience is not about Compromise – it is about Relationship in Relationship; it is not about being Right – it is about Preference; and it is not about Win/Lose – it is about Win/Win.
During this process, reiterate the mantra of ‘Position, Possibilities, Perspective and Preference in the Dance of Relationship’. And. as with any new dance, practice the steps slowly and patiently. Then joyfully dance the Dance of the New Millennium.
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